Published: November 02, 2007 10:25 am            

The Yield: Anniversary of loss inspires creative honoring of memory

Originally published in the November 2, 2007, print edition.

Anniversaries suggest happy occasions.

Larry and I celebrated our 40th anniversary at St. Luke’s Nursing Home two years ago. He was still walking and could say a few words. He held, but did not see or recognize, the Dairy Queen cake I bought to share with Larry and the residents. I look at the photos and see Larry’s blank gaze. I feel sad.

I have a similar photo of my Grandma Krosch. Aunt Loretta brought her from the nursing home for the occasion of my grandparent’s 40th wedding anniversary. I knew there was something wrong with my wonderful grandma. Today I know; it’s the dreaded disease of Alzheimer’s.

Oct. 9 was the first anniversary of my husband Larry’s death. Stan’s wife, Pam, died of cancer on Oct. 10, two years before Larry. The grief class I have been attending discussed what the survivor does to honor their loved one at the anniversary of their spouse’s, child’s or friend’s death. Plants, flowers, benches and solar lights to illumine the gravestones were ways by which the grieving sought to acknowledge the grief of losing a loved one.

Larry enjoyed the yields of fall. I gathered three ears of corn, which I decorated with a tied bow. I purchased a mum plant that could be planted at the cemetery in town. It was a lovely fall day. I could not believe it had been a year since Larry died. At Pam’s grave Stan shared some favorite things he enjoyed about Pam.

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to write a book. Writing about Alzheimer’s and caregiving was a way I could honor Larry and perhaps help others.

After weeks of wondering if I could do it, I took the big step and called an editor.

The meeting was exciting and affirming. He gave me directions for preparing a manuscript. I chose the articles I wanted to use and put off the typing. I am nervous because our editor, Kevin, is not on the receiving end of the book manuscript. He has always been encouraging and helpful.

The day came to begin. I sat down to process. My fingers shook so badly, I could barely type. The computer must have sensed my nervousness because it performed badly. We have not always been the best of friends, but maybe we could connect and be cordial when writing the book. I realize blaming a computer is really blaming myself.

Sometimes dreams lose their glow. But I am determined to do this for Larry, caregivers, and I have a “Helper” who will help me through the process. May God also bless me, and this computer. Good can come from bad things. We celebrate the good.

Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

        

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