"I don't feel so good." I tossed on my bed, tangled in my sheets. I remembered my Mom's voice. "Well, Susan. You don't feel so well."
Her voice was as if it was right now. How many times I shuddered as she corrected my grammar, or posture, or to lower my voice? I'm grateful for all my childhood's refinement hints. It makes it comfortable to relate to people.
I remembered when my daughter, Sarah, called home, excited about a job interview at the University of Minnesota. "We are eating out at a restaurant to see how we can eat and entertain guests over a meal." I rattled off some things to watch for - your napkin, conversation topics, what eating utensil to use when eating salad, fish, beef or desserts served on a plate or in a bowl.
I drifted back to sleep, only to submit to the restlessness that had awakened me throughout the night. Fears and dark thoughts continued to plague me. I couldn't sleep, but I was not ready to meet the day. I got out my Bible and read under a lamp about Abraham.
Even Abraham from our Old Testament was fearful and overwhelmed by the darkness in his soul. Writings of his Psalms aptly described some of the fears and restlessness I felt inside. He felt God had abandoned him. I fear God will abandon our country. Why couldn't life be simple, like when I was a child?
How I loved going to the haymow to sing and dance praises to God. I was free to go to church and learn about God, memorize His words to me as set down in scripture. But He was not limited to the haymow or any other one place. He was at school, in the woods along the river; yes, God was everywhere with me.
So where is God now, when I want to sleep? I've not often had restless nights. But now the fear for our country stole my sleep.
"Trust God," Stan encouraged. Then, smiling, he slipped into his favorite scripture: I want you to trust in me in your time of trouble, so I can rescue you and you can give me the glory. Psalm 50: 13-16.
Stan's love and trust in God are a great help to me.
Of late, I wondered where God was in my life; He seemed distant. I prayed about any disobedience toward Him. Were His purposes at odds with my grand plans? His plans did not always agree with mine, especially when He said "wait."
But Lord, I want to feel better and sleep now.
Was this another "test" to determine if I am going to wait for God in my life or go ahead with my ideas? Tests like those are found in the Bible and especially in our everyday life.
Times of your life
What do you remember about World War II and are any of the happenings in the world familiar from that time to now?
What are some tests God put to you and how did/do you respond?
Does God ever seem to disappear from your life when you need Him?
Like the Psalmist, give some scripture to validate God's existence in your life.
...
Sue Peterson has been writing "The Yield" column since 1978 and has been a staple of The Land. She may be reached at sustan2@bevcomm.net or 1010 East 5th St., Blue Earth, MN 56013.
Matthew 6; Psalm 37:5-7
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Sue Peterson
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The Yield: You would do well to see the good in your life
Originally published in the June 11, 2010, print edition.
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